[joinee_doug]

Was thinking about this the other day, and dug it up. It's from a project started a couple years ago called R U OK Day. Pretty self-descriptive; it's just reaching out and having a conversation with someone you think might be going through a rough patch. It doesn't need to start out all heavy, like, "I'm worried about you..." but maybe, "How's it going?" and letting the other person just let go if they want to, and listen to them. It really does make a difference, and hey - it don't cost ya nothin'...

(Oh, and like they said, Every day is R U OK Day, it's not just one specific day.)

This post has been edited by joinee_doug: 12 December 2011 - 12:37 AM

[Lethal Biddle]

Most of my close friends are men. Emotionally traditional men. If I ask "How's it going?", they'll say "fine" or "cool". Except Tim or John who will say "I've got a bird on my head!" or something like that. Most of my female friends are lovely, but if I ask them how they are then they start talking for a long time & it's all about things I don't really understand, or thoroughly disagree with & if I ever do chip in I get told to "stop trying to fix it". So I don't really bother with that.

Mostly I just squeeze people if they look sad. But not angry, best not to squeeze angry people. I just smile at them.

[Joinee Mum White]

People often do just reply that they are fine etc. but from my experience you do occasionally just happen to be the right person at the right time for someone.
If that happens just once, then it is useful ,and if you ask a lot of folk before you help someone, so what.
Even if the person you speak to really is fine, it still makes them feel good to be asked. Everyone likes to feel cared for.

I think sometimes it can be easier for people to off load difficult stuff on line. I have sometimes responded to a cryptic message, that seems a little down, just with a question mark and then entered into a lengthy exchange with someone who seriously needed cheering up, or just an ear to bend.

Being there for people doesn't cost anything but your time. Go for it! Mum White xxx

[joinee_doug]

Joinee Mum White, on 12 December 2011 - 12:21 PM, said:

People often do just reply that they are fine etc. but from my experience you do occasionally just happen to be the right person at the right time for someone.
If that happens just once, then it is useful ,and if you ask a lot of folk before you help someone, so what.
Even if the person you speak to really is fine, it still makes them feel good to be asked. Everyone likes to feel cared for.

That's what I took from it: just opening the door in case the person wants to get something off their chest. I know that with me, it would take a lot to just seek someone out and lay out my problem unsolicited, but if someone opened the door a crack for conversation, I might be liable to unload a little easier, sort of like, "Well, since you asked..."

[Rachel Rose]

No.

[Platinum Joinee West]

GJ Rachel Rose, on 13 December 2011 - 11:06 PM, said:

No.

S'up?

[Rachel Rose]

Better now. Thank you, Zena sweetie. Kind of amazing to me how cheerful a few beers *alky* can make me feel.