[HJCotW Spacemonkey]

Seriously. I can't work out if Nicola Roberts new single is the worst thing ever, or genius.

On first listen, I thought it was amateurish and horrific. I've now listened to it four times in relatively quick succession, and I can't figure out what's going on. Is my brain melting? Is it some kind of mysticism? Is it just the fact that she has an absolutely unbelievable body, and I'm biased towards anything to do with her? Well how does that work when it's on right now as I type this, AND I CAN'T SEE HER, YET DON'T WANT TO RIP MY EARS FROM MY HEAD?!?!

And the jumper...oh, the jumper!

I'm genuinely torn.

Listen here...if you dare. I'm not responsible for any confliction that may occur.

MoT
HJCotW

[Captain K]

Holy mother of...

It's bound to be HUGE though.

[joinee_doug]

I couldn't watch it (it's blocked here) but I wonder if it's a kind of a "Friday" syndrome. 160 million views (and growing) with 85% dislike, but maddeningly catchy and at best mediocre. It's called the worst song ever - well, it's not my cup, but I've heard worse. They come along every so often and are so invasive that you feel the need for a shotgun, despite your lifelong pacifism. That sort of thing?

[Distant Joinee Mandoran]

Um. Uh. Ah. Erm. Yeah, what you said.

[PJ Hannah B-R]

Joinee Sahil Varma, epitome of cool in the music industry (or so he claims) tweeted that he spent all of Saturday night sat in bed listening to it on repeat.

I think this means we can listen to if guilt free.

[Joinee Hathorn]

No, it's definitely some kind of genius... although I think it does actually work a little better WITH the video. It's quite 'Ting Tings' like.

[PJ Hannah B-R]

*double post*

This post has been edited by GJ Hannah B-R: 06 June 2011 - 07:08 AM

[Timothy Goose]

The chorus is definitely up there as genius.

I'm not as sure about the rest of it. I had the same issue of confusion over the weekend, but prior to that I'd been listening to Willow Smith. So I'm not sure if thats better or worse....

I think I'm waiting for a badass remix which means its just the Chorus over and over

This post has been edited by Timothy Goose: 06 June 2011 - 07:18 AM

[Gold Bismuth Shortt]

I got as far as the advert for her single then the video wouldn't work but suffice to say I HATE you Sean. It's in my sodding head, I need to bleach my ears *gah*

I will be getting my revenge on you!

[PJ Stevie G]

If you ignore the lyrics and the tune, this song is utterly fantastic.

[Chez]

Well I quite enjoyed it and I don't care who knows!

[PJ Hannah B-R]

What I can't quite understand is why she appears to be performing on the stage of my local church hall.


I quite like it. I hate myself for this.

I would however like her to put some trousers on.

[Timothy Goose]

GJ Hannah B-R, on 06 June 2011 - 09:39 AM, said:

I quite like it. I hate myself for this.

I would however like her to put some trousers on.

I couldn't disagree with this last point more

[Gaz]

It's horrific. The chorus sounds like the sort of appalling ringtone you get free with a low-end Korean mobile phone coupled with someone doing a karaoke-style impression of the Ting Tings over the top, and the video looks like it was choreographed by someone who usually trains American footballers, shot in a community centre the day after an excitable child's 11th birthday party.

Also: ironically, there's absolutely no drumming on the entire track.

This post has been edited by Gaz: 06 June 2011 - 09:58 AM

[Miss Joinee Brown]

She looks like whatsherface off celeb big brother...chantelle!

I quite like the song tho!

[Joinee Michelle]

The song is a little bit annoying but will therefore be a massive club hit.

I actually feel a little embarrased for her - she looks so unconfortable dancing about in that appalling outfit. She also looks about 10.

[Mr Phil]

I'M SO CONFUSED I FORGOT TO TURN CAPS LOCK OFF.

[HJCotW Spacemonkey]

It's grown on me even more. Also, she looks lovely when she smiles.

MoT
HJCotW

[Gold Joinee Spaca-Sweeney(GA)]

I'm not sure really. It's a catchy song and just have it on in the background, which i'm afraid is all it's going to be for me, that song that was on the radio that time, then forgotten....

Andy

[Rachel Parkin]

I rather like it on first watch. Think she'll get a lot of Ting-Tings comparisons. And yes, Hannah, with you on the trouser situation.

[HRH Gold Joinee Sheli]

GJ Hannah B-R, on 06 June 2011 - 09:39 AM, said:

What I can't quite understand is why she appears to be performing on the stage of my local church hall.


I quite like it. I hate myself for this.

I would however like her to put some trousers on.

What Hannah said. Exactly what Hannah said.

[GJ Drought]

[Joinee WEG]

I also quite like it. I did think she was going to dislocate a hip though. But hey, she's a fitty.

[Joinee Rufous]

It will, indeed, be huge.

She clearly can't dance, she can't lip-synch, and there's no evidence here that she can actually sing. The chorus sounds like Shampoo if their lyrics were written by a 12 year old.

The verse however is, for my money, a half-decent pop-take on quite a cool Sheffield Grimey beat. (With the grime removed.)

Just needs a decent producer and Rodney Smith on the mike and you'd have a mighty tune that would disappear without trace.

[Siobhán]

She worked with some awesome producers on her album. really good people and very cool. So on that note I think it was deliberate and is probably genius.

[Hebba Homemaker]

its alright, if it was on the radio I wouldn't instantly turn it over and it would get a dance in a club but I don't think it is anything spectacular.

I really like this version though

[Golden Judas]

Yeah.Not clicking on that. Now way sirree bob.

[DG Joinee NEMESIS]

I've turned it off after the first chorus.

this is utter utter shit!

[Joinee Ashcroft]

OH MY WORD!!!!

[Joinee Bird]

Agree with Rufous, although it's more like Daphne and Celete's U.G.L.Y

"U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi, you ugly..."



Also, is she wearing a nappy? Odd.

[Gaz]

Further bewilderment from the CD cover:

Is she basically going for a sneaky shit in a dumb waiter?

[Gold Bismuth Shortt]

Gaz, on 14 June 2011 - 04:33 PM, said:

Further bewilderment from the CD cover:

Is she basically going for a sneaky shit in a dumb waiter?

I thought she was trying to squeeze one out doing that funny wiggle "dance" in her nappies!

[Joinee Hathorn]

Joinee Bird, on 14 June 2011 - 01:46 PM, said:

"U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi, you ugly..."

Awesome record, Daphne and Celeste were great!
Ooh stick you!

[Siobhán]

Am loving this song quite a lot now. It's a grower

Diplo produced it.

I quite like this Diplo tune as well (which slowly grew on me) http://www.youtube.c...h?v=j6SSTMpIRFI

I quite like Diplo. He is a grower

[Lethal Biddle]

Siobhán, on 15 June 2011 - 09:24 AM, said:

I quite like Diplo. He is a grower

"Diplo" sounds like the kind of word we'd have come up with at school to say instead of "spastic" to get it by teachers.

[Joinee Michelle]

It was Biffa at my school. It said it all over the bins.

[Chez]

Joinee Michelle, on 15 June 2011 - 12:27 PM, said:

It was Biffa at my school. It said it all over the bins.

Bwahahahahahahahhaha we used to say that and you've just reminded me of it

[joinee varma]

This track is pretty great.

[DG Joinee NEMESIS]

GJ Hannah B-R, on 06 June 2011 - 06:27 AM, said:

Joinee Sahil Varma, epitome of cool in the music industry (or so he claims) tweeted that he spent all of Saturday night sat in bed listening to it on repeat.

I rest my case on the shitness

[joinee varma]

You idiot

[Joinee Snowberry]

Kerrisssst! It looks like it was choreographed by eleven year old girls, woth the budget being their pocket money, which obviously went on her 'outfit'....

[Gaz]

Well it's heartening to see that while it's apparently simple to fool the NME brigade (who'd proclaim a recording of two dockworkers shitting into an oil drum was the best new thing ever if they thought it'd make them seem cooler), you can't reheat one of the leftovers from a bunch of decade-old karaoke contest winners, stir in a riff nicked more or less wholesale off the Ting Tings, and expect the kids to swallow it as genuine original pop. Highest chart position was 27, and it fell out of the top 40 a couple of weeks later. And these days you only need to sell about eight records to get a No. 1 too.

Poor Mrs. Girls Aloud who isn't Cherrrerrllll Kuurrrllll or the other one who's solo career bombed or the other two who haven't even been arsed.

P.S. Girls Aloud 10th anniversary next year. Convenient reforming and airbrushing over disasterous solo efforts? I'd be gobsmacked if it didn't happen.

This post has been edited by Gaz: 29 June 2011 - 02:18 PM

[Gold Bismuth Shortt]

Oh God there's another one

Linky

Wait for the sperm on the wall!

[joinee_doug]

Ugh.....sounds like Melanie (the early '70s one) with a disco beat. Just lazy, no thought put into the song.

[Gaz]

Wa-wa-wa-waa! That is flat-out the most hilariously terrible "song" I have heard in ages. And why is she wearing a shower curtain from a midget's house?

"You've got what I want..."

A pair of trousers?

[Joinee Goldy]

DG Joinee NEMESIS, on 13 June 2011 - 06:45 PM, said:

I've turned it off after the first chorus.

this is utter utter shit!

Thank god someones talking sense..... no wait, it's Bennett *head explodes*......

joinee varma, on 20 June 2011 - 11:26 PM, said:

This track is pretty great.

frape surely ?

[PJ Hannah B-R]

Dreadful. Just dreadful. Wear some trousers.

[Gaz]

She was on BBC Breakfast the other day plugging another awful track. She also gave the least coherent interview I think I've ever heard.