[McCizzle]

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

some may have read this but i think its funny

[Joinee Varwell]

Amusing in a wry way, and really quite close to the truth too. It was in the news the other week that Germany has only just finished off paying its reparations.

If only the victors knew what they were doing when they forced the Versailles treaty on Germany...

[Mr Phil]

Excellent stuff.

[McCizzle]

im not gunna lie to u varwell i have no idea wot u just said so im just gunna smile nod and agree with it haha

[Shiney Joinee Jackson]

lol. Good stuff.

[Joinee Varwell]

McCizzle, on 29 November 2010 - 04:07 PM, said:

im not gunna lie to u varwell i have no idea wot u just said so im just gunna smile nod and agree with it haha

Same here.

[Shiney Joinee Jackson]

My housemate would like to add the following:

Christmas 1914: The Christmas Day truce on the western front :

"Britain and Germany decide to have a time out for a short while and pretend to be friends, exchanging mobile phone numbers and pictures of their wives and girlfriends before remembering that they are in a massive fight and start punching the crap out of each other again."

April 1915 : The 2nd Battle of Ypres and the first ever use of poison gas in warfare:

"Germany pulls down its trousers and lets rip with a noxious fart right in France's face, knocking France out giving Germany the opportunity to jump on France and prevent him from ever getting up again...only the fart is so bad, Germany can't bear it's smell either giving Britan the chance to pick France up again and revive him once the fart has dispersed."

July 1916 : 1st Day of the battle of the Somme.

"Britain spends ten minutes shouting at Germany telling him how much of a beating he is going to get from Britain's next punch. He takes a few steps back, takes a running swipe towards Germany with his arm swinging and his fist clenched...only to receive a massive headbutt from Germany, followed by a massive knee in the bollocks a punch in the stomach and a broken beer glass in the face and told to ***k off"

Battle of Cambrai 1917: The first use of tanks in warfare:

"Britain puts on an American Football kit and scares the s**t out of Germany."

3rd Battle of Ypres 1917: (AKA Paschendale)

"Britain and France spend ages throwing large objects at Germany but are unable to weaken Germany sufficiently to prise a can of 'Paschendale' beer from his grasp, despite much frantic mud wrestling on the floor....until Germany is finally introduced to some Canadian mean and the Can is won...only by this time, the can has been shaken so badly, nobody wants to open it. So after 10 minutes, Britain decides to give it back to Germany saying that it's crap beer anyway and we'd rather have a Heineken."